third side of the coin

Sometimes, i like to think we’re not all selfish.

Dreamers are but dreamers until they grasp reality, and still choose to glide in its sky, staring the sun in the eye fearless of being blinded.

Honestly,

The view’s pretty serene from this cloud.

listen to silverchair’s new ’straight lines’. love it.

This morning,i made mine.

7 years ago this day. a very close brotherly friend of mine took his own life a million miles away in the states. I never met Nathan in person, and i never had the chance to say how much i appreciated the friendship we had. i was bitter, i thought he was selfish for doing what he did. But after all this while, i think i finally understand why Nathan decided to do what he did, being in that situation, that young; if only he held on a couple more days, i think Nathan could cope and make peace with his charred past. I’ll never know.

We all have that one person in our lives we wished we had never let go, the one that got away. And all so often, we do, looking at it as something unavoidable, something fate had rolled a dice on way before we saw it coming. What’s even stranger, we pretend waking up from the episode ‘as a lesson learnt’ and aced it the best way we can. Really…how do we ‘ace’ from a ‘lesson’ like that when we quit the class? i know i definitely didn’t pass with flying colours. i used to hate myself for living the past. Quoting special people i’ve met, and allowed myself to lose them. i always had the frame of mind that if i were anywhere close to who and how they are/were, i was defeated; that they managed to rub off abit of them on me, and i was the loser for still carrying the essence of them with me. i ran. Constantly, i ran from my past. acknowledging everything that happen as a romanticised strategic tragedy. You know us dreamers…self-loathing narcissist as a dear old friend puts it.

That maybe beyond ambitions and dreams, we won’t let the obsession get the best of us. It’s funny though, why is it we find it harder to sacrifice what we never needed before, for the sake of what we really need.

Kanyeze was off the hook!

Last night was nuts! Assorted, and coated with thick rich chocolate.

so the crew and i was a lil too excited and went to the stadium a tad bit early. Heh. How was we (i) to know like any other local Hiphop gigs, everyone comes the latest time possible. so yea, Qube, Zash and Mal’s crew and i spent a good afternoon chilling by, watching 60+ year old Tai Chi enthusiasts practice ‘pushing’ each other(oh the joy), made a rendezvous to China Town, came back and still no one. (Anyone remembers the queue during LinkinPark or Incubus?), well none of that til 7pm. but the wait was worth it no less, we were way up front just as planned. Up.Front.

But all in all, met alot of old heads i haven’t seen for the longest time, twas good seeing familiar faces, and getting acquainted with new ones, it was all love, really. But the show…goddamn!

T-Bone and Goldfish did the usual quality controlled job warming up the crowd before Kartel stepped in and shook everyone into party mode. Shout out to KLG Sqwad for lacing what they do best, More Fiyah!  Proud of you bunch. As usual, Too Phat blazed it, nuff’ said (if you’ve caught toophat live before, this is self-explanatory). Of course, the main event killed it. Kanye was blinged, Schwing and Swinged like a motherfucker (nice holy kicks too…weren’t nikes hm). The set (i reckon) was semi-played by ear with Dj Anthrax flippin arrangements to Mr.Kanyeze’s request, but if you were suppose to be

there last night, and you weren’t…lol. You missed out too much man. Let’s just say the legend re-inspired alot of ppl again. and owh didn’t quite believe it, but the man and his lil symphony did ‘Jesus Walks’… not bad aye? Subliminally mocked timbaland and performed his new songs from his upcoming ‘Graduation’ release. You could hear the crowd sizzle, the man even dropped a freestyle. by then you can tell who really listens to lyrics, and who just hears. i’ve to say the ending was bad though….it just went kaput.

There was an afterparty. But after the quick shisha with Dennis Qube and Rauzan, we called it quits fr the night. Besides, the damn concert was enough to keep us awed. Now i heard J.Timberlake will be down sometime this year. If it happens, I’m showing up at 7pm and bum rush my way to the gates. No more waiting!

My coffee’s nearly done. *yawn* I’m off for more. laters.